I'll Go to You When the Weather is Nice

[날씨가 좋으면 찾아가겠어요]

I've been having more time for myself lately

started getting back to watching some k-dramas after finishing my English series

new or old

guess that's how I used up part of my past few months

I encountered one really well made drama

that I just loved everything about it

something that I feel like it's gon be a long lasting fave of mine

how do I explain this?

slow! let me just start off with that

but the aesthetic,

the crazy intense chemistry between the lead roles,

the acting skills of all the casts,

the cinematography of this film,

the script,

the story line

(details, details, details)

isn't that almost everything?

or actually everything already?

its so beautiful

so underrated

a story that brings so much warmth to me

I felt it all

and that explains to why the story had to be slow :)

I don't know how much this film made me smiled stupidly

and cried my soul out at the same time

something about the whole vibe that made this so special

set in a beautiful countryside

where everything and everyone there are calm and peaceful

its funny how the shooting was done during winter

tho everyone was layered with padded jackets and thick coats

but it still brought so much warmth

there's a few scenes that I remember vividly to date

that still give me chills whenever I think of it

" If I told you that I have always loved you from that moment until now,

what kind of expression will you wear?"

my mind went blank at that moment

I froze.

I didn't even make it to realize if I had goosebumps

I just couldn't undo the thought of how beautiful this love is loving someone since they were both still kids

not even knowing if that was even love

the love for her that has been lingering the whole time

since he was also shy

thinking that he doesn't deserve to own that love for her

watching her constantly from the edge of the frame

protecting her in ways nobody has ever thought about it

(i.e. stopping the girl from committing suicide back in high school)

throughout the years

it's so beautiful...

that even the girl once said:

"I know the eyes of someone who has liked me for a long time."

I don't think its even realistic to see such relationship these days

everything seems so short term in today's world

regardless of any forms of relationship

its the same thing

and I feel sad...

for the short terms we see as norms today

I wished people would be more sincere and genuine

as if the world ain't cruel enough towards us

"All warm, sweet things made me anxious...

I was worried that the precarious moment of happiness might vanish in a flash."

My heart ached.

"Losing the sun, that's been shining on me all along. Having the light fade away, and not being able to see the dazzling sun ever again. It would've been better if I had never seen it. I know the warmth, and I've made the scrunched-up frown because of the dazzling sun. That's why I'm afraid. Still, Hae Won-a, I like you."

I don't know how to explain this...

I guess it takes a lot of having bad days after good ones to feel this

I used to fear happiness a lot too

or maybe I still do

to a certain extend

I remember whenever something incredibly good happened to me

second day tend to be one of the worst days of my life

its as if

God can't let me be happy for more than 24 hours

I can't hold the joy any longer than how I want it to be

that's why I don't feel very good when something nice happens to me

I question a lot on what happens next

and how long can I hold onto this happiness

I can't let myself live in the moment cause I was too scared

I question if I actually deserve it

I always had this in mind

"If its gonna be short term I rather not have it"

cause the sadness/disappointment is even more unbearable

right after having the slightest hope towards long lasting happiness

"Did I ever tell you? That I used to be really happy... And then one day, all my happiness... suddenly disappeared. I would have expected to become unhappy right away, but I didn't, which made me even more furious. So... I ended up fearing all the happiness in the world."

someone who has lost all his loved ones but immediately got adopted by a loving family bet that's scary tho it might have looked lucky from a third party's eyes

"You were... that boy. You were as cold as me. Then you know what? I'll hug you from now on. Can you hug me as tightly as you can too? So what we have won't suddenly disappear So it won't melt away in a short moment Can you come to me... and hug me, so I can hug you too? so we can stay warm like this forever... Can you hug me, Eun Seop-a?"

the love for the girl

and how it bounced back so sweetly Its like your love for others never really go to waste it comes back, in the same way or the other

I love how it doesn't have to be the guy who starts the approach

but in this case

it was the girl

who started the spark between them both

who accepted the love that's been lingering around her all those time

something that was just right in front of her all along

"I envy you so much."

"Why?"

"Because you're this warm."

I loveee how his subtle care can make such a huge difference

and so many times

I find that super attractive for any guys to have it

"Hae Won-a,

I understand...

that you will leave this place one day.

I'm bracing myself for anything that can happen.

However,

when you leave this place,

I hope you don't leave with a heavy heart.

I just hope you can leave smiling happily.

I hope...

I hope you're not hurt at all.

I'll sincerely hope so."

I kid you not I cried like a baby, it was painful...

this film speaks a lot of inner insecurities

the fear of owning happiness,

the trust issues between friends,

the fear of showing your love for someone,

the fear of hurting your family with the real truth

or at least for me

guess that's how I was able to relate to most of the stories

I can't list them all

but the parts I really love a lot are written in here

and I felt like I was watching my own thoughts from a third party view

and I'm like "ah, so that's how its like."

still, regardless of how you felt after being treated in any ways

love and care from others are always around the corner

it's whether we choose to see it or not

and if we could learn to see it

happiness is there too

if we choose to take it

till now

i think I've made it sound like a sad story

but no! this is not a sad story

cause here's what happens next

the love for each other happened

the cutest things I've ever seen happened

she found out everything that he did and felt for her happened

these 2 have stories of their own that goes a long way

they weren't happy teens

but they found each other few years later on a winter night

they shared their love

and its a nice feeling to see them both having each other

that only both of them would know the pain in each other

and to heal the wounds together with time

to end this before it sounds like me promoting and spilling everything about this film

(or maybe I already sound like I'm doing so :/ )

I would say it's a 10/10 film for me

and I highly recommend watching this

(if you're someone who knows how to appreciate films like this)

it's healing, heartwarming, calming, loving

I found a lot of inner peace from this film

and I guess everyone deserves this peace

and be happy <3

I'm ending this for now

listening to Kyuhyun's All Day Long ;)

also, stay safe and stay positive in this critical moment!

till next time,

love, cla xx