GROWING UP IS A DECISION, NOT A NUMBER

It has come to the end of 2016. It's finally December. So many things happened so quickly throughout the year. It's probably the most hectic and unpredictable year I've ever had and it has been a really tough time for me. From studies to relationships and social life, non of them worked out well but I've came to the realization for certain things. I'm not a person who is good in academic and studying is not my kind of thing either. But I knew that if we want a pleasant living in future, you have to study whether you like it or not, and since I don't have any special talent to pursue in, it's the only path to go through and that's why I didn't hesitate to study even though i suck at it. So, there were ups and downs throughout the whole 7 months which to my surprise I actually survived through it. Results aren't out yet but fingers crossed.

Relationships. From family to friends and also love relationships, I realized that not everyone would stay in your life forever, whether they're leaving you intentionally or unintentionally. They choose to be either your blessings or lessons in your life not you, but you'll eventually figure it out. I have a few friends who left high school without a 'bye', not knowing where they are and what are they doing now. I've been into a relationships which I thought it would last but it was just a thought. But since then, I've stopped associating with people whom I know isn't worth my time and effort. I've been trying to help people to overcome anything whether it's mentally or physically but it was always taken for granted. Some of them are fighting battle you never know and might not wanna know and seeing them taking my advise to bulk up themselves, I'm pleased. I tried even though I almost lose myself, because I just love seeing people being happy and see them succeed especially when you have so much faith knowing they can and they will. But for now, I'm blissful that the people I couldn't live without still remains in my life living a healthy and happy life striving so hard for what they believed in. That's enough for me to be grateful for whatever that has happened throughout the whole year.

Speaking of my social life, I'm not a high-key kind of person on any of the social platforms or even in person. The very first impression from people about me is I always look like I'm a snobbish person. I used to be a person who cares a lot of what people would think about me. I was always concerned about people judging, back-stabbing me and etc.. I used to even block my mind from whatever others have to say about me. It took me quite some time to handle every criticisms and judgement I received from people I know and I don't know. But now, I've reached a stage where I'm carefree to accept any criticisms or judgement because I realized whatever people are telling you right now aren't gonna harm you but help you in being a better you from time to time. You'll be more careful on how to vibe with others or how to treat others or even how to react based on certain circumstances or incidents. You'll also be happier because any comments about you from anyone are not gonna haunt your thoughts every time and it'll make you stress-free to be honest. It's hard at first but once you've passed the stage of worrying what people might think about you, you've reached a whole new level of FREEDOM.

Like I said, growing up is a decision not a number. It's our own choice to decide what kind of a mentality or mindset we wanna have in us, when we wanna get out from our comfort zone having wild dreams people might not believe you're able to do it, making choices that we regret but learning from our mistakes, break free from the little things that don't really matter and also adapting to the changing circumstances. Life would be so much different if you're able to do so much for yourself. That's what I've learnt in 2016, it's not easy and it'll take some time. I took a year to gain so much for myself. But then again, you have so little to complain about and so much to be grateful for. Be grateful for the lessons you've learnt, that's what makes you grow. Stop stressing and start counting the blessings.

--Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.--

Till next time,

Lots of love. x

- Cla -

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